After editing this short story I'm posting a few paragraphs of it. Please tell me what you think (comment or PM me). Thanks in advance!:
There once was a young man who wanted more than anything to paint. One day, he decided that he was going to pack his bags and leave his hometown. It was a scary thought for the people of the village. For generations upon generations, no villager ever left the town unless they needed to be hospitalized. So every day before the young man’s departure, the villagers would ask him the same question.
“Can I ask what disease you have to make you so ill?”
“I am not ill. It’s my dream to be an artist in Edo,” replied young man with a smile.
On the morning of his departure, he said goodbye to all the villagers as he walked along the path between the little square fields where the water-filled plots sat, as if waiting for a miracle to happen. During the start of his journey, the farmers in the plots stared at him as he continued along the dirt path. As he looked to the sky, he saw white fluffy clouds in the light blue sky. A few clouds momentarily blocked the sun. And all-too-soon, the sun was blinding his vision again. As the day progressed, the village he lived in shrunk into a little speck in the distance as the trees in that bordered the forest grew to an intimidating size. The hospital that the villagers would visit was maybe another half mile ahead just before the forest began. The young man, with only his art supplies, a sleeping bag, and food for the day in his backpack, decided to stop at the hospital where he could stock up on medical supplies and rest for the night.
The next day, the young man had already entered the forest and was looking around for water. He didn’t dare stray too far from the path. He remembered the villagers warning about the forest from when he was a small child. They said that there were terrible demons that would eat him if he strayed too far from the road. With no sound of a river nearby, he kept walking along the path. Hours passed with no water source nearby. As the sun was about to set, the young man set up his camp between two trees along the road. With a fire pit waiting for fire and a sleeping bag ready to sleep in, the young man began to search for his dinner.
While he was in the forest, the young man didn’t realize that he was walking closer to a pond. Unlike most ponds, this one was special. The young man, tired from walking all day, finally burst through the thickets into a small clearing with a pond smack in the middle of it all. He stared wide-eyed at the glimmering, glamorous, and grim pond that stretched as far as two of his houses, which was more like a one-room hut. Next, he noticed the rocks. There were a lot of rocks in the pond that were placed in funny ways. To the farther end of the pond was a huge silhouette that the young man had never seen before. Disregarding it, the young man started slipping into the pond to bathe. Suddenly, a voice spoke in a whisper...